


Indelible

by imaginary_golux



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Memories, Multi, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 16:23:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18076835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: Finn finds a way to make sure his memories can't be reconditioned away.Beta by my Best Beloved, Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw.





	Indelible

Finn has been awake in the Resistance for four days the first time he sees someone with a tattoo, and he only barely has the presence of mind not to blurt out in the middle of the mess hall, “What _is_ that?” He manages by dint of great effort to hold his tongue until he and Poe are in their bunkroom for the night, but he starts asking questions almost as soon as the door clicks shut behind them. Poe is startled, but only a little - Finn has questions about _everything_ , after all, because everything about the Resistance is new and odd to him - and answers patiently, explaining about ink and needles and the different reasons people choose to get tattoos, and finishes by saying, almost as an afterthought, “Rose Tico, the mechanic - she does tattoos for some of the pilots, sometimes. Kill counts, things like that. Anything fancier, people usually wait for leave, hit up a proper tattoo shop somewhere.”

Finn lies awake that night thinking about a way to _know_ that even if he is recaptured, reconditioned - even if Kylo Ren himself tears Finn’s memories from his mind - even if he _dies_ , there could be a record, marked upon his skin, of who he was and what he’s done.

The next morning he hunts down Rose Tico, who squeaks when he introduces himself, and asks her what he can trade for a tattoo. He’s not quite sure how to feel when she asks for his _autograph_ , but he signs the piece of flimsiplast willingly enough, and promises to ask Rey if she’ll do the same when she gets back from wherever Luke Skywalker is hiding.

The first tattoo Finn gets is his name, in plain angular Aurebesh without any frills at all, down the inside of his left forearm, so that he will never be nameless again.

It hurts - of course it hurts - but Finn is used to pain, and while the Resistance does not have enough bacta to waste on healing tattoos, especially not after having to douse Finn in it repeatedly in order to save his life, a layer of antibiotic ointment out of Rose’s mechanic’s kit works well enough, and Finn memorizes the instructions she gives him on how to care for the tattoo while it heals, and goes off to the mess hall grinning despite - possibly even _because of_ \- the pain. He’s not FN-2187 anymore, he’s _Finn_ , and now he has the proof of it written on his very skin, never to be taken away.

Poe gives him a slightly odd look when Finn explains, but then he shrugs and says, “Actually, that makes a certain amount of sense. So are you planning to get other tats, then?”

Finn nods firmly. “Yes,” he says. “The memories I really want to keep - the things I never want to be able to forget.”

There’s not always time, in the odd stop-start wait-and-panic rhythm of the war, to heal up after a voluntary injury like a tattoo, but Finn makes lists, in his head and on the little datapad Poe gave him after he woke up, and whenever he thinks there’s enough time, he goes back to Rose, or if he’s on leave or on a resupply run he goes to a proper tattoo parlor that’s used to working on humans, and adds another to his growing collection of indelible memories.

Poe and Rey’s names go over his heart, in small tidy script. A very well-done portrait of BB-8 goes on the outside of his right thigh, where the little droid zapped him the first time they met. A crashed TIE fighter and Black One flying over it on his right hip, and behind them both the sketched outline of the _Millennium Falcon_ ; a lightsaber hilt down his right forearm. And then, as he gains rank and experience in the Resistance, he adds other things: a kill count, not for Stormtroopers but for officers and Knights of Ren, below the lightsaber. His _Resistance_ serial number, not beside his name but near BB-8 on his leg. The Resistance symbol on his chest opposite Poe’s name and Rey’s; and Rose’s name as a neat signature beneath it, with Chewbacca’s and the General’s beneath that. The names of his squadmates who die during their missions on his _left_ hip, an ever-growing list, so he will not forget them as dead Stormtroopers are forgotten, so they will always be remembered _somewhere_ \- and though he takes pride in keeping the list as short as possible, it _does_ grow longer, and Han Solo’s name is the first of those Finn failed to keep alive.

When they marry at last, he adds _Dameron_ to two places on his skin, after his own name and Rey’s, and Poe’s breath catches in his throat to see it.

When they win - when the war is over and Poe brings them home to quiet Yavin - Finn gets his largest tattoo yet, a startling departure from his usual preference for compact, tidy words and tiny, simple pictures:

A Force-tree, blue-green leaves startling against his dark skin, across his back, the first mark he has gotten that holds the memory of peace.


End file.
